By Raihana Ahmad Jalaluddin

Growing older is often assumed to be synonymous with becoming wiser. Yet lived experience suggests a more nuanced reality. Age does not always bring clarity as we imagine it should, because sometimes it brings exhaustion.

There comes a point when one grows weary not only of external dramas, but also of the emotional turbulence created within the self. In this state of fatigue, hope itself can feel burdensome. Repeated disappointment teaches a quiet lesson, where expectations that remain consistently unmet begin to erode one’s sense of stability rather than sustain it.

Emotional saturation

With time, individuals often reach a threshold of emotional saturation. They tire of circumstances that refuse to improve and of perspectives that never quite align with their own.

Equally draining is the persistent effort to be understood, such as attempting to persuade others to see the world through one’s lens. This is especially evident in professional settings, where subordinates give their best throughout the year, meeting deadlines, solving problems, and carrying responsibilities beyond their job descriptions, yet quietly hope for something as simple as a congratulatory message or a brief acknowledgment from those in leadership positions.

When such recognition never arrives, the silence can feel heavier than criticism. Eventually, a difficult truth settles in, consensus and validation are not guaranteed, even when effort has been sincere and consistent. Acceptance of this reality marks a subtle, but significant, shift in emotional maturity.

Cherishing life

However, aging does not only strip away illusions; it also offers something constructive. It teaches restraint in longing and clarity in valuation. Instead of waiting endlessly for external expectations to be fulfilled, one begins to recognise the importance of cherishing life as it already exists.

This shift is often mirrored in personal relationships. Siblings, spouses, or close friends may find themselves quietly wishing for small gestures, a simple thank you, a genuine how are you, a remembered birthday, or acknowledgment of a modest achievement.

When these moments pass unnoticed, disappointment arises not because of grand expectations, but because recognition affirms connection. Over time, self-worth gradually becomes less dependent on these external responses and more grounded in present self-recognition.

At the heart of this process lies a universal human desire, the need to be seen. There are moments when this need surfaces quietly, such as when someone shares an idea in a discussion and it passes without response, or when personal struggles are carried privately because there is no space to voice them.

The absence of acknowledgment in such moments does not come with drama, yet it leaves behind a subtle sense of erasure. The mind, inherently social, registers these silences more deeply than it often admits.

Realisation

Yet within this experience lies an important realisation. Individuals possess the capacity to witness themselves, to recognise their own presence even when their contributions seem to dissolve into the background. This may occur when one chooses to honour personal growth that emerged from hardship, when resilience is acknowledged internally after navigating a difficult transition, or when quiet consistency is valued despite a lack of outward affirmation. These internal acts of recognition cultivate stability that external validation alone cannot provide.

Isolation, particularly during periods of emotional stillness, can intensify the longing to be acknowledged. There are nights when this understanding settles in slowly, not as sadness, but as quiet acceptance.

This may be felt when one moves through major life changes alone, relocates to a new environment without familiar support, or endures loss without knowing how to articulate grief. Silence in these contexts can feel heavy, yet it also offers an unexpected clarity. It becomes a mirror through which individuals learn to meet themselves without performance or expectation.

While the desire to be seen is undeniably human, enduring peace arises from the understanding that worth does not depend on constant recognition. Meaning does not disappear when efforts go unnoticed, nor does growth lose its legitimacy because it unfolds quietly. Some transformations are never witnessed by others, yet they remain deeply real. The absence of acknowledgment does not negate their value.

Ultimately, existence itself is sufficient to be honoured. Life does not require continual affirmation to justify its significance. To remain present, to endure with awareness, and to acknowledge one’s own becoming are acts of quiet affirmation. In this space, weariness is no longer a sign of depletion but a marker of depth, and silence becomes a place of self-recognition rather than absence.

-- BERNAMA

Raihana Ahmad Jalaluddin is with the Centre for Language Studies, Universiti Tun Hussein Onn Malaysia (UTHM).