By Assoc Prof Dr Tengku Elena Tengku Mahamad and Dr Wan Norbani Wan Noordin

During a recent community engagement visit to an NGO in Indonesia that supports women who have experienced abuse, we were confronted with a question that lingered long after the visit ended.

The organisation’s work is emotionally demanding and deeply human. Every day, its advocates listen to stories of violence, fear, and survival.

They walk alongside women rebuilding their lives after trauma, ensuring safety, dignity, and wellbeing. They advocate, counsel, document, and protect.

And yet, beneath this vital work, a quieter question surfaced. Who cares for those who do this work?

Advocacy as emotional labour

It is easy to focus on the victims, and rightly so. But behind every survivor stands a caregiver who absorbs pain that is not theirs, who holds space for grief and anger, and who continues to show up even when the weight becomes heavy.

Advocacy work in cases of violence against women is not just professional labour. It is emotional labour in its rawest form.

While systems are often designed to protect victims, far less attention is paid to the emotional toll on those who provide that protection.

Strength becomes an expectation, and vulnerability is rarely acknowledged.

Listening to the caregivers

As part of our engagement, we invited the NGO workers to write short reflection letters.

We did not ask them about outcomes, statistics, or programmes. Instead, we asked a simpler, more personal question: What helps you keep going?

The responses were quiet, but deeply powerful.

Some spoke about journaling. Writing, for them, became a private space to release emotions they could not always express aloud, a way to process anger, grief, helplessness, and hope.

On those pages, they allowed themselves to be human, not just strong.

Others shared how hobbies outside of work helped them endure the emotional intensity of their roles. Activities unrelated to advocacy were not distractions.

They were lifelines. They allowed caregivers to reclaim parts of themselves beyond advocacy and to draw boundaries between what they carry for others and what they must protect within themselves.

A few mentioned gardening. At first glance, it seemed simple, almost poetic. But the more we reflected on it, the more it made sense.

Gardening is slow. It demands patience and trust in growth that is not immediate. In tending to plants, they found grounding.

In nurturing life, they reminded themselves that healing, too, takes time.

Resilience is not the absence of pain

What struck us most was not the diversity of coping strategies, but the fact that most were self-initiated.

These advocates had learned, often through experience, that without intentional care for their own emotional wellbeing, burnout was inevitable. Their reflections revealed resilience, but also vulnerability.

They reminded us that resilience does not mean being unaffected. It means finding ways to continue without losing oneself.

Why caring for caregivers matters

Caring for caregivers is not a luxury. It is an ethical responsibility.

If advocacy work is to be sustainable, emotional wellbeing must be embedded into organisational conversations and practices.

Reflection spaces, peer support, and permission to rest should not optional extras. They are necessities.

When caregivers are supported, they can continue to care for others with compassion that is sustaining rather than depleting.

A question we must keep asking

Our visit reminded us that advocacy is not only about speaking up for others. It is also about listening to those who work quietly in the background, holding stories that are not theirs, and still choosing to show up each day.

As we continue to champion important causes, we must ask harder questions. Not just about impact and outcomes, but about care. Not only about those who are helped, but those who help.

Because when caregivers are cared for, everyone benefits.

-- BERNAMA

Assoc Prof Dr Tengku Elena Tengku Mahamad is the Deputy Dean (Research & Industrial Linkages) and a Senior Lecturer in Communication Management & Policy at the Faculty of Communication and Media Studies, Universiti Teknologi MARA, Shah Alam.

Dr Wan Norbani Wan Noordin is the Head of the Centre of Strategic Communication and a Senior Lecturer in Public Relations at the Faculty of Communication and Media Studies, Universiti Teknologi MARA, Shah Alam.